Posts Tagged ‘Whitney Thompson’

Ups and Downs

February 7, 2013

 

I’ve been fighting with these last five pounds of this 40 lb goal for a few weeks now. I can’t really complain because it is not mystery lingering weight. It is simply poor eating choices. Salt primarily. I will get within a pound or two of the goal and then eat a chips, or popcorn or overdo it on Thanksgiving… so it’s taking awhile to get back into weight loss mode.

That’s okay though. Including the pregnancy and miscarriage the fact that I’m only bouncing around in a 5 lb window is a good sign that I’m at least able to maintain my weight which I know will be the longer term goal.

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Frustrated

July 19, 2012

I have reached that inevitable point in any life style change, weight loss, diet, trying-to-do-something-new process where there is failure and now I am feeling frustrated by it.

It is a completely inconsequential failure, unless I let it have consequences.

After reaching my 20 lb goal, I have had an incredibly minor set back. A 1.2 lb set back to be precise.

I was prepared for this. In fact, I thought I was going to have a set back before I hit my goal since I had a whole weekend of eating out with our families. I was more than pleased when I managed to maintain through that. Then I hit my goal – yay! Happy dance! And then the next day I gained 0.4 lbs, and then another 0.4 lbs and then another 0.4 lbs and I started to lose my calm, just a little bit.

Part of it was the weight gain, part of it was that I couldn’t explain the weight gain. I was keeping within my caloric range. On day one I had come close to max calories but not over and on day three I had had some alcohol, but not more than my daily calories worth.

What bothers me most is how bothered I am by all of this.

If I am going to make this healthy change permanent and not fail yet again I cannot let myself be so distressed by a measly 1.2lb gain. I need to look at the big picture. I need to remember that there are other factors of success like how I feel, how I am fitting into my clothes, my mood and energy levels.

So, this is my confession. I let myself be frustrated by a 1.2 lb gain that will likely not matter in a month. Now, I need to go live my life and make sure I stay committed to my goals and realize this is a very small trivial matter.

Revisiting the plan

May 3, 2012

Before the grief there was a plan slowly starting to form.

While I am comfortable being a woman of size, I am not happy with my current size and it is beginning to effect my quality of life. I am not interested in becoming stick thin again or inviting the health and psychological problems of trying to get there.

The challenge I had put before myself was to lose weight and size slowly and incrementally. I wanted to do it this way so that I could:

  • Be evaluative of each step and when I felt good and wanted to stop,
  • Ensure that the slow approach would keep the weight that I lost off,
  • Not pressure myself to lose X lbs in Y time frame and beat myself up when that didn’t happen,
  • Truly evaluate what works for my body,
  • Explore what nutrition means to me, what tastes good to eat and what feels good in my body.

There were three main tools I had set up to try to achieve this.

1. Weight loss rewards

I have never been a rewards person, but I think this may have been a mistake. There is part of me that thinks that achieving a goal should be reward enough. However, my track record tells me that this is not enough for me. So, I set up a chart with a goal of a 20 lb weight loss. I set rewards at 1, 2, 5, 10, 15 and 20 lbs. The idea was to keep myself motivated and then evaluate at 20 lbs. Decide if I felt up to going for another 20 or if I wanted to simply try to maintain for some time. In this way the parameters were either weight loss that was not constricted by time, or time for maintenance with no weight loss expectation.

2. Self acceptance monitoring

This is harder to articulate as a tool. Although I am not comfortable with my current size I am comfortable being a woman of size. I like curves, breasts, hips, tummy and softness. I am also generally happy with my life and the parts that I am not happy with I feel that I can do something to change. Part of the slow incremental weight loss needs to be a mindfulness to keep an eye on my positive sense of self.

Wading into the weight loss challenge is a good way to turn negative. To start to degrade my body and my self. Some would see it as self empowerment, but I find this is only true while success is happening. If success is not a straight road – which it rarely is – then it is easy to slide into self depreciation. Once the downward cycle begins then it is hard to appreciate any success. Small success are no longer enough, it becomes a game of the long goal in the distance that is never achieved.

To help with self-acceptance I am making sure that I keep subscribing to Plus Model Magazine, which is where I get many of my images and keep reading size acceptance blogs.

3. Paleo Diet

Through various failed diets I have realized that I do need some guidance for what I put into my body and that guidance has to be more than calorie-based. I came to the idea of trying the paleo diet not from a weight loss perspective but from the ability to help me manage some of my food allergies and still eat a well balanced diet. It also promotes local food and seasonal food as well, and helps me increase my protein intake which I know is needed.