Posts Tagged ‘goal setting’

Mini-Goal: 35 lbs! (Again)

January 24, 2013

 

My weight bounced around for a couple of weeks following the miscarriage. Partly due to the miscarriage, partly due to me eating poorly. I’m not sure it has stabilized, but I started tracking daily at the beginning of this week and it seems to be consistent with what I’m eating.

So, I am back at 202.8 lbs my 35 lb mark. It’s also the “no longer obese, just fat” mark. Which feels good. I never made it to the full 40 lb goal, so I’m back on track to try to lose those last five lbs of this goal.

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Lost

January 17, 2013

At 11-weeks and 5 days I started to get some brown spotting, which a day later turned into blood and on the date of 12 weeks exactly the doctor confirmed I’m having a miscarriage.

It sucks, of course. It beyond sucks. I’m angry and sad and frustrated and confused.

What I know is there is nothing I could have done. I’m simply in that unlucky 25-30% who have a first-trimester miscarriage. I know that a first-trimester miscarriage is common, is usually the result of the fetus not being viable in the first place usually because of chromosomal anomalies, and I know that most women who have a first-trimester miscarriage go on to have a successful pregnancy resulting in live birth. This information doesn’t make it suck any less right now.

However, if there is one thing that this year has taught me is that I will keep going, even when not all of me wants to.

So, why am I blogging about this on a weight and health blog?

Well, the way I see it, it’s part of the process. I stopped trying to lose weight when I found out I was pregnant. And, I know that to be healthy – especially given that I want to try to get pregnant again – I need to continue this health journey.

So, where am I in that journey. During the 12 weeks of pregnancy I gained 3.6 lbs for a total of 203.6 lbs (not bad – well within the 5 lbs recommendation for first trimester).

I’m going to spend the next week simply recovering from this, and then go back to my paleo eating plan with a new energy. Really go after that 40 lb goal (which happens at 197.8 lbs) and look into joining a crossfit gym.

10 weeks

January 10, 2013

The obsessive craving for spicy pickled pepper seems to have abated, and with it my intake of salt. Which has helped me keep my weight more or less under control. I seem to have gravitated to about 202 – 203 lbs for the last few week. I’m hoping to hold it there until the end of my first trimester. At that point I’ll have a full appointment with a midwife and can find out what a reasonable weight gain is for someone of my original weight during the second and third trimesters of pregnancy.

Crazy Weight

January 3, 2013

 

Before I knew I was pregnant I remember being really frustrated this month at the lack of weight loss. I chalked it up to my body’s normal cycle. Over the last few months I have noticed that about a week and a half before my cycle is due I have a LOT of trouble losing weight, so I figured that was what was up.

Since finding out I am pregnant I have been trying to maintain my weight. Which is largely failing, mostly due to my new salt addiction. I had a good laugh at my charts this morning.

Here is what my chart was looking like for the last three months:

 

Nice, solid, mostly downward line.

Notice that upwards trend at the end? That’s this past month. Here’s what it looks like up close:

Preggers Week 6

December 27, 2012

I had my first doctor’s appointment last week and I am indeed pregnant. I’m six weeks pregnant (approximately) today. One thing I didn’t know about this whole “how far along are you” business is that it’s 40 weeks (approximately) from the day of your last menstrual cycle. Which means there are definitely two weeks in there where you are not pregnant.

There’s also the whole bit about when you ovulate and when the sperm fertilizes the egg, and egg not having implanted yet and you can’t be pregnant until implantation. Even after that there is this whole transition from embryo to fetus which is the most high risk time for miscarriages.

So, I have two weeks left until the embryo starts to transition to a fetus, that happens between weeks 8 – 12. The first trimester ends at week 13, and if I have not had a miscarriage by then the chances of miscarriage are significantly reduced – although the physical complications from a second trimester miscarriage are significantly more.

Weight wise I am bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. In the last week I have been as low as 198.6 and as high as 203.4. I know the reason for this is that I have become a total salt addict. I cannot get enough hot pickled pepperoncini peppers and roasted sea weed. I know I need to back off of them, that they are not good in the quantities I am eating them. These are definitely the most powerful food cravings I have had. So I’m struggling to control them.

Pregnant!

December 20, 2012

Took the home pregnancy test yesterday… and another one today… and both agree – I’m pregnant!

I’m very happy about this. My partner and I struggled for a long time to try to get through the adoption system, we haven’t given up on that but we knew we needed to think about bio-babies in case adoption didn’t work out. Then when we tried for bio-babies we found out there were complications, but fortunately it seems that this has worked out.

Of course I know a lot could go wrong from now to a live birth and beyond, but this is the first big step.

I began to suspect when I had a fairly large spike in weight, followed by an even larger drop – which is usually what happens before my cycle starts, and then there was no cycle. So we waited for a week and then took the test. I still need to confirm with my doctor and get the estimated due date.

This also means big new changes for diet. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow. I suspect because I am overweight they will see if I can gain no more than 15-20 lbs. I’ll need to know when I’m supposed to gain that weight and at what rate, and if eating the current calorie load I do now and how I do now is good for the baby.

I’ve already gained a bit of weight, but I think that’s more reflective of having a celebratory dinner last night and I think I’m safe at least for a week go to stay on the Paleo plan I was on and to try to lose those 1.2 lbs I gained.

Starting pregnancy weight: 200 lbs.

NOTE: This pregnancy unfortunately ended in a miscarriage. So, don’t get too invested in the next few posts. I figured I would leave them there since they are part of my health journey.

Milestone

December 6, 2012

 

I have been having a bad week generally in terms of weight loss. Perhaps a bad two weeks. Some lack of progress seemed reasonable because I had some high sodium meals, and other times I couldn’t figure out why I was seeing no progress.

I still haven’t figured out what was going on, but today my body seems to have dumped a bunch of water weight and I miraculously find myself at 201.2 lbs.

Why is this odd number important? Back in the summer of 2010, which was my last serious “I’m going to get fit and loose weight” attempt this was the exact number I made it to before life happened and I slid back up to 237.8 lbs.

I remember being very disappointed with myself that I had been within 1.2 lbs of cracking the 200 lb mark and I didn’t make it.

To be fair it was a brutal diet and I was exercising at the gym everyday and I was riding my bike to and from work (a total of 26 KM/day). I think I was simply unable to maintain the rigor of the diet and the huge level of activity.

This time round has been much easier. The diet mostly takes care of itself. I certainly have moments of frustration where I feel like I am doing everything right and nothing is happening. But, then there are days like today.

Ghhhaaa! Bleck! Bad Day!

November 29, 2012

Today is not a good mental health day. I’ve been teetering on the edge of this 202.8 lbs = no longer obese milestone for days now. I went down a little bit, then more, then back up, and up and up again. No real progress in over a week.

I’m getting better at talking myself through the bad days. Reminding myself that some days I lose a pound and some days I do not and that is good because my body needs to adjust. That it’s not all about the numbers on the scale it’s about how I feel.

Today I feel bloated, cramped, back aches, hip hurts there’s a new pain in my knee and I feel emotionally miserable. And, the scale went up again. There’s no reason I can identify as to why. I’ve been sticking to paleo, I have not gone over on my calories, but still… no progress.

Here is the choice: I can give up, throw the towel in go get a large bag of chips with sour cream and wallow in my perceived failure. Or, I can stick it out another day and a day after that and the day after that and know that I am doing the right thing and eventually the weight will come off, but only if I keep trying.

I don’t need to do anything different yet, it feels like a long time right now but in the span of success this time round it’s a short time and in the span of time I have tried to lose weight it is an extremely short time.

So, I feel crappy today. I don’t feel like giving myself a pep talk and I do feel like eating crap just to validate my current mind set that this will never work, but there is enough of something inside me to know that I will not do this. I will make it through this day and look forward to better days.

Obese No More! (Still fat)

November 22, 2012

When I started this journey (again) at 237.8 lbs that put me at a BMI of 35.1, which is severely obese or obesity class 2.

< 18.5 – Underweight
18.5 – 24.9 – Healthy Weight
25 – 29.9 – Overweight
30 – 34.9 – Class 1 Obesity (moderately obese)
35 – 39.9 – Class 2 Obesity (severely obese)
> 40 – Class 3 Obesity (morbidly obese)

In some ways I have been more eager to hit the 202.8 lb mark than making my 40 lb goal (although that will be no small achievement). At 202.8 lbs I am officially no longer in an obesity category I am merely overweight.

I know this is really just some invisible, imaginary and in many ways arbitrary line. However it is a line that is felt, especially working in a health-related field. I constantly see the statistic:

“Two-thirds of adults are overweight or obese, and one-third of adults are obese.”

That emphasis on obese makes it feel like those of us who crossed that line are somehow pulling the western world into the dreaded OBESITY EPIDEMIC. We are pulling down the ship. I hear the word obesity and I think of all the stock footage of people’s disembodied stomachs and bottoms jiggling down the sidewalk on the 6:00 pm newscast. I worry that it could be me!

In reality I know it is not true. Even at 237.8 lbs and 5’9″ I looked more like the cute chubby girl, than I did the 6:00 pm news footage. And as Jimmy Moore pointed out in Fat Head, the “obesity epidemic” is in large part created by the CDC’s adoption of BMI. Before widespread knowledge of BMI ‘fatness’ was measured by a number of different factors including weight, percentage body fat and overall size. But since BMI we now do a simple square and lump people into categories.

BMI is a terrible indicator of health:

National Public Radio
Globe and Mail
The Guardian

It ignores other health indicators such as cholesterol and triglycerides, total body fat as compared to body muscle, and cardio-vascular health. And, at 237.8 lbs I was a healthy woman. No arthritis, no elevated levels of any kind to concern my doctor and good heart health.

However, I do have to admit that BMI is, in my case, a reasonable starting point for a health indicator. Yes, BMI may put the super-fit Russel Crowe or Olympic athletes into a morbid obesity category because their muscle mass tips the scales in the wrong direction. But I wasn’t overweight – or obese – because of an over abundance of muscle.

I’m just plain fat and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with being fat. I’m happy and healthy at a BMI of 35.1 and now at a BMI of 29.9. So, why worry about BMI? Why celebrate my transition out of the obesity category and into the overweight category? Well, because as much as I hate to admit it, I’m one of those people the health statistics are warning us about. I’m not an anomaly. I may be healthy now, but if I keep the weight on then I am increasing my chances for a whole host of obesity related health problems. I may never get any of those problems if I am not genetically inclined, but since I don’t know if I am genetically inclined why roll the dice?

I really don’t know how much I have improved my health or decreased my chances of becoming unhealthy by moving out of the obesity category. All the ‘obesity treatments’ simply suggest losing 10 per cent or 20 per cent of the body mass can ‘greatly improve’ health outcomes. So, I’ve done that. And, I think I’ll keep doing it for a bit. I know more than anything keeping the weight off over the long term is what will improve my chances of staying healthy into old age.

Mini-Goal: 35lbs!

November 15, 2012

I have been hovering just above this mini-goal for almost a week now, so I was super happy when the scale showed the loss today. My new weight is 202.8 lbs. The reward for this mini-goal is to go buy new pants – even though I don’t need them yet. I have to admit I’ve been terrible at fulfilling my rewards.

The rewards I have banked include:

222.8 lbs – New top

217.8 lbs – Hair trim

216.8 – Apple movie rental

215.8 – Eye / lip wax (and I REALLY need to get on this one)

212.8 – manicure

207.8 – pedicure

202.8 – new pants

Reaching 35 lbs though puts me in the last leg of this goal. 5 more lbs until I have lost a total of 40 lbs and I put myself under the 200 lb mark. I can do this.