First compliment

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Today, slightly past the 25 lb mark I got my first “hey, you’ve lost a lot of weight” compliment.

I never know how to deal with these. It’s different when it’s people who I know are aware that I’m losing weight. Then I can be frank and open about the struggles. But, with people who don’t know and I don’t discuss these things with it’s hard to know how to respond.

It is of course very gratifying that someone notices, it feels like effort is paying off. It’s also a little terrifying that if I fail then they will notice that too.

For me at this time it’s also difficult to accept the compliment gracefully. I’m still struggling with the numbers. I ‘feel’ slightly over 200 lbs. I felt that way at 201.2 lbs, which was my lowest weight in 2010. I felt that way at 220 lbs, my default weight for the last five years. And, I felt that way at 237.8 lbs when I was wondering why my clothes were all too tight. So, in some ways I don’t feel as though I have lost any weight until I cross that 200 lb mark. At the same time I am trying to push myself to recognize that if I do lose 37.8 lbs that’s no small task, so I’m also trying to celebrate that.

Unfortunately, I ducked the issue in public and changed the subject quickly.

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