I noticed in my last entry that I mentioned my weight was consistently going up when I made bad food choices.
That choice of words has given me pause. What do I mean by bad food choices?
First of I find it interesting that I still use the word “bad”. I could have chosen: poor, negative, unhealthy, junk or others. But I chose bad which demonstrates that I’m still using a lot of value judgement with my food.
So, my vocabulary is showing some cracks in the philosophy I am trying to adopt, but I do think I am learning.
What “bad” food choices mean for me right now are:
- Mindless eating
- Allergy eating
- Uncontrolled eating
Mindless eating is see-food, eat-food. For example I was playing a game in the university cafeteria (some friends and I meet there sometimes for gaming). That night when the Tim Hortons staff came out and dumped tonnes of bins of donuts, muffins, cookies, timbits, croissants, cinnamon buns and more. All the students in the cafeteria descended and started grabbing food. When all this started I wasn’t hungry, I don’t really like donuts that much, I really don’t like Tim Horton’s donuts, especially day old going stale donuts… then one member of our group put three bags of chips in the middle of the table. As the evening went on, I don’t remember when I decided to have chips, timbits or more chips, but I did. They didn’t taste good or satisfy a craving. I just ate them because they were in front of me and other people were eating.
Allergy eating is when I ignore that certain foods make me feel awful but I eat them anyways. This often goes with either mindless eating. Sometimes it happens with social eating. It goes with mindless when I don’t really think about what all the ingredients are of what I am putting into my body. With social eating I hate feeling like the high-maintenance picky eater and I feel like I’m being a nuisance to others when I ask too many questions about food. Because food is so social I don’t want to upset the social balance so I eat things even when I suspect they are bad for me just to keep the social balance.
Uncontrolled eating is mostly alcohol. I have a very high tolerance for alcohol, I’m still usually in happy-drunk mode around drink 12-15. What I have figured out is that anything over usually drink 3 is going to tip the scales. But, since most of my friends know I can drink and I don’t want to feel like a priest at a pageant I often let my guard down and allow myself to drink more alcohol than I intended. This goes back to the mindless see-food, eat-food problem.
In other words I’m okay to give myself permission to eat chips, pop or ice cream if that is what my body is truly craving. But, when I eat it simply because it is there, despite it being bad for me or because I didn’t manage my alcohol consumption I see these as “bad” food choices.