Weekly Check-In: Week 29

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This past week has been a turn-around week for me. At the beginning of the week my only goal was to get to the gym four times. Which I did manage to do. Happily, I also came across the Photo Diet (see previous entries) and while I was not trying to get my eating back on track this week it worked out.

The Photo Diet gave me the motivation through embarrassment (maybe not positive motivation) to really watch what I was eating again both in terms of amount and quality of food.

I have struggled a lot since I finished the phase of my plan that was all about reducing the calories to a healthy level. The next step of my plan is to simply eat healthy and exercise. To build that consistency.

I never thought that getting to the healthy part would be the barrier. Part of that barrier is the unanticipated success that I’ve had. For some reason I had this mental block in my head that I would not loose any weight, not loose any size, not feel better, not look better until I was several weeks into my consistency phases. This was not the case. I lost six sizes just getting to the consistency phases.

I have some fear. I need to acknowledge that fear. I’m at my lowest size in 5 years. I have rarely managed to go below this size without it coming back in a few months. I can feel the self-sabotage setting in across the past few weeks.

I’m scared about having to shop at new stores. I’m scared of loosing my fat girl identity that has been so protective for the past few years.

To move past this fear I need to acknowledge that I do feel better, energized, in control, more powerful and all around better when I go for it. It’s okay for me not to be the fat girl anymore. It’s okay for me to be fit, to look successful. It’s okay to let me have this and to be proud of what I am doing for myself. Changing my health and my body does not mean that I am rejecting myself it means I am embracing and freeing myself.

So there’s my self-pseudo-psychology for today. Time to go to the farmers market.

Week 11 Q2 – September 7 – September 13, 2008
Overall: 59%
Household: 110%
Health & Beauty: 62%
Finance: 38%
Career: 38%
Entertainment: 48%

Running Weekly Average
Overall: 41%
Household: 62%
Health & Beauty: 45%
Finance: 32%
Career: 27%
Entertainment: 44%

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